It's Hard to Leave My Bash

Now that Bash has started day care, we want to be sure to keep the schedule.  Eventually he should figure out that weekdays are when we will drop him off with those other kids and those nice ladies and then weekends are when he gets to have Mommy and Daddy all day.  I knew this would happen. My mom used to have a day care.  I saw it every day.  I never thought about it from the parents' perspective though.

Leaving Bash every day is tough.  I'm glad I'm able to do it every morning because I think it would be extra difficult for Swedie.  He's a very happy kid normally.  That's not the case when I drop him off, though.  As soon as I say, "Bye Bash" and head for that door, he breaks down into real sobbing.  It makes my heart heavy.  I know he is in good hands.  It's just that I know that I can't explain that to him yet.  He doesn't get the concept of Daddy coming back.  He just gets that Daddy is leaving.  And technically Daddy likely isn't coming back.  Mommy is.  Daddy will be at work most days.  I can't imagine the confusion for him.  And I never thought about it before.

The good news: He gets happy shortly after.  At least that's what they say at the day care.  But how can I know?  I wish they had a camera set up so I could log on to a website and just watch the day care center.  I'd like to see how long before Bash calms down.  What calms him down?  I'd be interested to know what he decides will help him cope with me abandoning him.  I can't see it though.  They don't have that at this day care.  I don't know if they have it at any day care.  I do know that they have it at a doggy day care that we left Jasper at when we would leave town.  If they have it for dogs, why not for kids?  Ah, it's probably for the best.

Thankfully Bash forgives me every day.  He's so happy to see me when he does see me.  I got home from work last night after he had gone to sleep.  He was in his own room, by the way.  That meant the only time I had seen him was breakfast and then getting him ready to cry as I abandon him.  He should really hate me, right?  Wrong!  I woke up to this morning to my beautiful son nestling into my body as he hugged my left arm.  I cracked one eye open knowing it would be the most beautiful thing ever.  It was!  His eyes were closed as his little body squeezed my arm.  I wanted to hug him back, but I didn't want to interrupt him.  I just kissed his forehead.  Thanks for forgiving me Bash.  I can't wait until you understand that Daddy will never leave you.  Until next time...


  1. I know the feeling. Makes me consider being a stay at home mom. I've learned a trick. Food is the only thing that distracts her enough to not even notice I've left. I put her at the table with her breakfast and she doesn't even look up at me when I say bye. Not sure which is worse....


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