Daddy Diaries: An Elevator Adventure

Playing outside with Bash is fun.  It's even more fun with Jasper.  I get the best of both worlds.  Bash is thoroughly entertained by our crazy dog, and Jasper gets good exercise from running around like a maniac and mellows out for the rest of the day.  How could I not take advantage of this?

Last week I had an opportunity to go outside with the boys.  Swedie was at work (will she ever learn?) and I was home with all of these responsibilities.  Bash was non-stop that day.  Climbing and running and singing and being a toddler.  He recently found out that he can get to higher things by pushing around a chair.  Now I have to actually be awake!  Jasper was being his usual annoying self, so outside was the way to go.

I took them out and let Jasper do his thing.  Bash loves it when Jasper runs in huge circles barking hysterically.  I teased Jasper and made him run more and more.  Bash laughed more and more.  He even gave me a few of those baby laughs that everybody loves.  That's the best.  Bash had brought along his wagon, bucket and sand tools.  This was going to be fun and more importantly, EXHAUSTING.  

We played for a while and then a dog walked by in the distance.  I thought about how Jasper is an asshole and it would suck if he ran after a dog and ruined this outing.  It may be best to go inside now.  He had done his business and maybe Bash would be nice to me and go to sleep.  I'd have time to myself to do a little writing or something.  The thought of peace excited me.  Time to go upstairs!  I put Jasper on his leash and packed up Bash's wagon.  He quietly followed me back to the apartment building.

Bash likes the elevator.  We live on the 9th floor, so every trip home involves an elevator ride.  Bash runs into the elevator as soon as I open the door.  Sometimes he wants to push buttons or make faces in the mirror.  The elevator is fun.  On this particular journey, Bash was distracted by his shovel and bucket.  He wanted them to sit properly in his wagon.  I watched him as I always do.  Impressed that this little guy that used to struggle to roll over is now meticulously organizing his toys to his liking.  

We got to the 9th floor and I walked out of the elevator.  Jasper ran to the front door as if I was going to let him in before us humans.  There's rules to the game, homeboy.  Chill out.  Bash had his wagon in front of him and changed his mind about leaving the elevator.  

       - We're home, Bash.

He shook his head.  Maybe he wants to play some more.  No big deal.  I'll let Jasper in really quick and then go play outside with Bash some more.  I went to the door to let Jasper in.  I looked back and noticed the elevator door shut all the way.  The weight of the door must have pushed the wagon back in.  A thought ran through my head that I need to grab that door and prop it open in case someone tries to call the elevator from another floor.  That would suck.  I ran to the door to prop it open.  Then I heard the sound. The elevator motor was going.  I think Bash knew the sound too.  He looked up at me through the glass window.

       - NEJ! (NO!)

Oh shit!  Somebody called the elevator!  I stood there like an idiot for what felt like ten minutes. It was really less than one second. There is no emergency button on the outside.  I can't wait for it to come back.  I have to run.  I couldn't stay calm.  I ran like lighting struck me.  I heard Bash yell at each floor he passed.  

       - NEJ!...  NEJ!... NEJ! 

I was going full speed and skipping stairs.  I hadn't let Jasper in either, so he was running behind me, barking like crazy.  Somehow I was outrunning Jasper! 

As I got to the fifth floor, I heard the elevator stop and the door open.  I saw the light from the elevator shine on the ground as I descended to that floor.  The man that called the elevator opened the door.  He was terribly confused.

       - HALLÅ?!  (HELLO?!)

The hello went to Bash, but the guy said it loud as if it were for someone else.  I thought it was a weird thing to say when you open an elevator to an abandoned baby, but who am I to judge?  Bash was pissed off.  He recently started doing what we call the "mean face" when he's "angry" at someone.  I ran up and witnessed Bash standing stern with the meanest "mean face" I've ever seen him do. 

I said I'm sorry in Swedish.  The guy didn't respond.  He was dumbstruck.  He had called the elevator and opened the door to a mean ass baby holding a wagon handle.  Then a big black dude runs up out of breath with a crazy dog behind him barking like a maniac.  I grabbed Bash and his wagon and silently walked back up the stairs.  Outdoors time was over for today.  We all needed a nap after this adventure.  Until next time..