Unsettled Sibling Arguments... We Need Kanye!!!


I have an interesting relationship with my twin brother.  I have great fun when I am around him.  He's smart and funny and athletic and all that wonderful stuff.  But he is one of the people that can frustrate me most in this world.  He has the ability to get up under your skin and then LIVE there until discomfort makes you leave the room.  Then HE WINS!  I think he gets off on that.  He says outrageous things just to be "anti" and then he backs it up with debate tactics of Skip Bayless.  You KNOW he's wrong.  I think HE knows he's wrong.  But then he'll argue and argue until you just give up out of hatred.  That's my brother.  I love him.

Most of the times I just let it go.  He's trying to annoy me.  I know it.  Just walk away, Jon.  But then it becomes a game of just stumping him.  Make him look as dumb as he intelligently sounds.  That's easier said than done because he's such a smart guy.  I usually win in the end... because he's WRONG and Google is my friend.  Or we agree to disagree and all is forgotten.  We go back to being awesome brothers and doing awesome brother stuff.

Some things go unresolved and stick with me.  Like when I made a joke that I REMEMBER popping into my head, making me laugh and then saying.  I was about ten years old.  I wondered the origin of the word "slobber".  I chuckled when I thought to MYSELF that the word may have come from a country bumpkin trying to pronounce the word "saliva".  I played out in my head a deep south, Alabama native talking to their cousin from New York.





See how vividly I remember this?  It may have been the construct of my first official joke!  Now ask my brother about the slobber joke and he will swear up and down that HE made it up!  Imagine my frustration trying to argue this with him.  But he doesn't back down.  And there is literally no way to prove to him that I came up with it. My family remembers me saying it, but he says it was him.  Maybe it's a twin thing and some way we collaborated telepathically to create this joke. Or maybe Jason is delusional.  But there is no way that I did not make that joke up.  It popped in my head and I said it to my family and they all laughed.

Another debate we had is possible to settle, but it's a long shot.  I would need the one and only Kanye West to settle it. We were on a road trip (thankfully not the road trip from hell) and listening to Kanye West's debut album "The College Dropout" (still a classic) and the song "Never Let Me Down" played.  It's a great song.  Kanye West speaks about some real stuff and Jay-Z helps out with some good verses of his own.  We bobbed our heads and dissected the lyrics as we always do.  Then Kanye said:

    "I can't complain what the accident did to my left eye/ 'Cause look what the accident did to Left Eye/ First Aaliyah, now Romeo must die?/ I know I got angels watching me from the other side"

Good stuff, right?  Seems elementary.  Kanye West had a well-publicized brush with death in a terrible car accident that required his jaw being wired shut, among other injuries.  But how could he complain about damages to his left eye, when rapper/singer/TLC member Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez died in a car accident?  Speaking of accidents, famed singer Aaliyah died in an accident.  Then - obviously - Kanye refers to himself as Romeo and references the movie Aaliyah starred in called "Romeo Must Die" while pointing out it wasn't "Romeo's/Kanye's" time yet because angels looked out for him.  

Simple, right?  NOOOOO.  My brother argues me up and down that Kanye West is talking about the actor Merlin Santana (below) that was killed outside of a club by a woman that thought he was someone else.  Tragic.  Santana was best known for his role on "The Steve Harvey Show" as - you guessed it - "Romeo".  

Look at Merlin's face.  Even he knows
Jason is wrong!

So Jason says Kanye was rapping about Romeo.  We were SCREAMING at each other in the car about this. His argument was that Kanye is brilliant, so why couldn't he be covering all of this in one bar (strong point)?  Mine was, Kanye is brilliant, so he writes what makes sense.  Talking about Romeo the character (that never died on the Steve Harvey show, mind you) in a question form... 
     
       - Romeo must die?

...and then about angels watching over Kanye just doesn't make sense.  You're reaching, Jason!  

But we can't get an answer to this one without the man himself.  It would be glorious if Kanye West told Jason that he was wrong once and for all.  I would never let him live that down.  So if you know Kanye West, let him know that there is an argument that only he can settle.  My brother is completely wrong like always and Google can't help me this time.  Come on six degrees of separation!  We need Kanye!!!  Until next time...

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