Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

My first hero ever was my dad. He was the fastest, strongest, smartest and funniest man in the world. He could do no wrong in my eyes. I'm sure that's the case with many young children. My case of dad-praise had to have been extreme. I never snapped out of it. I stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause at about the same time as other kids, but it took me way longer to stop idolizing my dad. It's weird because the signs were there. I didn't bat an eye when he would flirt with the lady at the fast food window. I even longed for my opportunity to do it one day when I got a car and drove with my sunglasses on, bobbing my head to the latest hot music. I passed no judgement when he had an affair with my older sister's mother while disguising it as an attempt to let us get to know his daughter. After all, he was such a cool guy it was understandable that plenty of women would want him. For years I'd go along with his version of events just to make it e...

Bash's energy level is INSANE.  It got so crazy that Swedie and I had a meeting about it.  We decided to get him into something to expend that energy.  Swedie found a children's gymnastics course that Bash would surely like. Of course the price of the course made me think maybe this was an overreaction.  Then Bash sprinted by on all four faster than any human should and I relented. Now gymnastics is incorporated in Bash's routine.  It's officially added to his list of possible destinations.  He asks if we're going to:        Day Care        Mormor (grandma)        Morfar (granddad)        Gymnastics And he doesn't like to go home either.  He's like Daddy.  He knows there's a party going on somewhere.  The first day of gymnastics was a new thing for all of the kids.  It seemed challenging for most of the parents to keep the kids somewhat foc...

I got this email from one of the contractor companies we work with.  It said keep a certain Saturday clear so that we can do something as a group.  This excited me.  I love doing things as a group!  It doesn't happen often here, so this was a welcome event for me.  I responded immediately that I would clear that Saturday.  Even more exciting was the fact that the event that evening would be disclosed at a later date.  What?  This was getting better and better. A week or so later we got word that the event would be bowling.  Even better!  I'm not "great" at bowling, but I can hang with other novice bowlers.  Not to brag, but when I was 12, my brother and I got bowling balls for Christmas.  They came in their own bags, too!  Like professionals.  For context, we never so much as got holes drilled into the balls.  I don't know what ever happened to those bowling balls.  I hope someone found them and used them ...

I'm standing on frozen water!  I still can't believe I caught these If you would have told me at the age of 15 that I would one day walk out on a frozen body of water and fish through holes in the ice I would have said you're out of your mind.  I would have laughed until my stomach hurt.  This southern city boy would never do something crazy like that.  That's what we would call "white people shit".  I wasn't down to do white people shit.  I like life.  As a matter of fact, very high up on my list of worst ways to die is falling through ice into a freezing cold lake and then swimming back to the top only to not be able to find the hole.  Drowning because of a bad decision is one thing, but throw in the embarrassment of having a bad sense of direction and that double whammy is top (or bottom) five ways to go. However, I'm not 15 anymore.  Adult Jon understands that life is a playground and ice fishing just might be a fun game.  Som...

Oh yeah, it's that time again!  The Rollins family is growing.  Bash doesn't get the concept yet, but I'm already certain that he's going to be good at big brothering.  I'm more excited than I expected to be about this new addition.  There was a time when I went around saying I'd be cool not having any kids at all.  I'm sure I would have been okay with it, but life with Bash has been such a blast that I can't wait to see this next little star. We decided not to find out the gender this time.  That adds a layer of excitement.  Not to be all hipster condescending, but it will be awesome to quench that curiosity after a labor battle.  It's funny that after almost three years of parenting I feel like I'm some sort of parenting pro.  I've only accompanied Swedie through labor once.  That means I pretty much don't know shit.  I walk around with an unwarranted confidence and I'm sure a rude awakening is coming. Bash was a pretty reason...

I have to start off by saying that I love my job.  Everyone has been very welcoming there, I like my coworkers on my team, my boss' style goes great with my working style and I LOVE the general corporate environment in Sweden (at least the part of it that I've experienced).  There's a lot of freedom here.  It's like you're trusted to do your job, so no one is breathing down your neck and adding a new layer of stress.  There are no TPS reports. It's been great to apply my skills and knowledge to a new company.  There's also this feeling that I can be more of my "off-the-clock" self when I'm "on-the-clock". I got my job because of a contact created through "Yrkesdörren".  It's an awesome program that I blogged about here  that was created to help integrate skilled immigrants like myself into the seemingly impenetrable Swedish work force.  I like the program so much that I agreed to be a part of a commercial they were do...

Hey! Yes I still blog.  I just took a month off because I didn't have anything nice to say after what was for me a very disappointing US presidential election.  I won't delve into that subject now.  I'll write a bit about something that makes me feel better about everything.  BASH! Handshakes are one of those things a parent teaches their child about.  It's a part of the first impression.  Make it firm.  Establish respect right away.  Look the person in the eye and smile.  I'm not quite there with Bash just yet, but I'm already prepared for that conversation.  He'll never have a "dead fish" handshake.  Nor will he be that guy that squeezes the fuck out of your hand while staring intently into your soul.  That person is actually worse because they make YOU childish and you start trying to squeeze back while trying not to show the pain.  But you're already at a disadvantage because that asshole started squeezing first! ...

If you would have asked me six months ago how I would react to Bash wanting a pink toy or wearing nail polish I would have proudly said it is no problem for me.  I'm a progressive and enlightened man, right?  I know that the color pink has nothing to do with femininity.  I don't buy into that tired old way of thinking.  My child will grow up knowing that whatever he likes, he likes.  It won't affect the way his father loves him.  In the end he will be secure in himself and he'll truly have the trust a child should have in their father.  That all sounds good until that time comes. Well that time came for me.  My progressiveness was recently tested.  Swedie and I have discussed this topic at length.  We agreed that if we're out toy shopping and Bash likes a "girl toy", Bash gets that toy.  So I was surprised when Swedie called me one day asking if it's okay to buy this chair Bash wants.  I rolled my eyes.  Here we go again...

People ask me if I speak English or Swedish at home with Bash.  Obviously I speak English to him.  I do so in part because I want to be able to fully express myself to him.  Me searching trying to translate my thoughts into my second language for him would be frustrating for the both of us.  I also want him to learn English like I speak it.  Here they learn the queen's English in school.  That's not exactly Miami talk.  He would benefit from learning Daddy's language from Daddy.  Another major factor is my confidence in my Swedish.  I understand just about everything and can make myself understood, but my Swedish grammar is far from perfect.  Bash would certainly pick up bad habits from me if I spoke Swedish to him.  Furthermore, he would realize at a way earlier age that Daddy is an idiot.  I'd rather he figure that out as a teenager or so.  Like we all do. Recently Bash and I went to the park.  I like spending tim...

It's summertime in Sweden.  That means EVERYBODY leaves.  At work it's basically a skeleton crew.  Mainly me (the sucker that took vacation early in the summer) and another guy who is waiting until the fall.  Mother nature hooked us up this year with a beautiful summer so far, so that makes it a little less fun to be cooped up at the job.  The good thing for me is learning so much on the fly.  Sometimes I HAVE to find answers on my own because I'm the only one there.  Learning by doing is the best, right? Friday was a super crazy day.  There was a buzz about the office.  The mood was pretty much brink of insanity.  My counterpart forewarned me that at 2:45pm at the latest he was going to be getting out of there.  He had some summer stuff to do.  My brain immediately did a poop/lunch schedule check.  I could poop at 5, but I'd need to grab lunch at around 2ish.  Thankfully (and unfortunately) there is a Burger King ...

I'm back!  I know I've been back for a while and haven't updated this, but I'll explain later... That vacation was real!  I had no idea it would be so awesome.  Swedie and I make a great team.  We (by we, I mean she) planned it all out well in advance and we (now I mean we, but still mostly she) executed it well.  We began in Florida at the Holm Home as my previous blog  detailed.  We love them and miss them already.  The rest of the Florida leg of the trip was awesome. Miami Bash and Ava I had my fill of conch salad during my trip home.  Moonk really does know how to hook up a conch salad!  I got to see my younger cousins (can't call them little anymore) and hang out a little bit with them.  I spent so much time in my youth trying to be the loudest and funniest and wittiest that I never realized how funny my cousins are.  Reggie and Julius had me cracking up!  Grandmother is still rocking her raccoon wig in...