Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

Bash's energy level is INSANE.  It got so crazy that Swedie and I had a meeting about it.  We decided to get him into something to expend that energy.  Swedie found a children's gymnastics course that Bash would surely like. Of course the price of the course made me think maybe this was an overreaction.  Then Bash sprinted by on all four faster than any human should and I relented. Now gymnastics is incorporated in Bash's routine.  It's officially added to his list of possible destinations.  He asks if we're going to:        Day Care        Mormor (grandma)        Morfar (granddad)        Gymnastics And he doesn't like to go home either.  He's like Daddy.  He knows there's a party going on somewhere.  The first day of gymnastics was a new thing for all of the kids.  It seemed challenging for most of the parents to keep the kids somewhat foc...

I got this email from one of the contractor companies we work with.  It said keep a certain Saturday clear so that we can do something as a group.  This excited me.  I love doing things as a group!  It doesn't happen often here, so this was a welcome event for me.  I responded immediately that I would clear that Saturday.  Even more exciting was the fact that the event that evening would be disclosed at a later date.  What?  This was getting better and better. A week or so later we got word that the event would be bowling.  Even better!  I'm not "great" at bowling, but I can hang with other novice bowlers.  Not to brag, but when I was 12, my brother and I got bowling balls for Christmas.  They came in their own bags, too!  Like professionals.  For context, we never so much as got holes drilled into the balls.  I don't know what ever happened to those bowling balls.  I hope someone found them and used them ...

I'm standing on frozen water!  I still can't believe I caught these If you would have told me at the age of 15 that I would one day walk out on a frozen body of water and fish through holes in the ice I would have said you're out of your mind.  I would have laughed until my stomach hurt.  This southern city boy would never do something crazy like that.  That's what we would call "white people shit".  I wasn't down to do white people shit.  I like life.  As a matter of fact, very high up on my list of worst ways to die is falling through ice into a freezing cold lake and then swimming back to the top only to not be able to find the hole.  Drowning because of a bad decision is one thing, but throw in the embarrassment of having a bad sense of direction and that double whammy is top (or bottom) five ways to go. However, I'm not 15 anymore.  Adult Jon understands that life is a playground and ice fishing just might be a fun game.  Som...

Hey! Yes I still blog.  I just took a month off because I didn't have anything nice to say after what was for me a very disappointing US presidential election.  I won't delve into that subject now.  I'll write a bit about something that makes me feel better about everything.  BASH! Handshakes are one of those things a parent teaches their child about.  It's a part of the first impression.  Make it firm.  Establish respect right away.  Look the person in the eye and smile.  I'm not quite there with Bash just yet, but I'm already prepared for that conversation.  He'll never have a "dead fish" handshake.  Nor will he be that guy that squeezes the fuck out of your hand while staring intently into your soul.  That person is actually worse because they make YOU childish and you start trying to squeeze back while trying not to show the pain.  But you're already at a disadvantage because that asshole started squeezing first! ...

It's summertime in Sweden.  That means EVERYBODY leaves.  At work it's basically a skeleton crew.  Mainly me (the sucker that took vacation early in the summer) and another guy who is waiting until the fall.  Mother nature hooked us up this year with a beautiful summer so far, so that makes it a little less fun to be cooped up at the job.  The good thing for me is learning so much on the fly.  Sometimes I HAVE to find answers on my own because I'm the only one there.  Learning by doing is the best, right? Friday was a super crazy day.  There was a buzz about the office.  The mood was pretty much brink of insanity.  My counterpart forewarned me that at 2:45pm at the latest he was going to be getting out of there.  He had some summer stuff to do.  My brain immediately did a poop/lunch schedule check.  I could poop at 5, but I'd need to grab lunch at around 2ish.  Thankfully (and unfortunately) there is a Burger King ...

I'm back!  I know I've been back for a while and haven't updated this, but I'll explain later... That vacation was real!  I had no idea it would be so awesome.  Swedie and I make a great team.  We (by we, I mean she) planned it all out well in advance and we (now I mean we, but still mostly she) executed it well.  We began in Florida at the Holm Home as my previous blog  detailed.  We love them and miss them already.  The rest of the Florida leg of the trip was awesome. Miami Bash and Ava I had my fill of conch salad during my trip home.  Moonk really does know how to hook up a conch salad!  I got to see my younger cousins (can't call them little anymore) and hang out a little bit with them.  I spent so much time in my youth trying to be the loudest and funniest and wittiest that I never realized how funny my cousins are.  Reggie and Julius had me cracking up!  Grandmother is still rocking her raccoon wig in...

I had a gig the other night at Södra Sällskapet.  It's one of my favorite clubs to perform at.  It's a basement, nice room, normally a good, energetic crowd.  I have fun when I'm on stage there.  The gig went very well.  I got laughs and applause.  I felt good.  I stuck around for the rest of the show and some drinks and socialization.  The night was good.  I met with some comics and some of their friends upstairs and began chit-chatting. One Swedish guy told me that I was funny.  It's always flattering.  I gave my normal "Thanks a lot, man!"  It really means a lot to me when someone tells me I'm funny.  You should try it.  Go up to a comedian and tell them they're funny.  I promise you you'll make their day.  However, this guy followed it up with a "but".        - The only thing I would say... Here goes.  Another person that doesn't get on stage telling me what I should do the...

Most of my blog posts about Sweden are filled with my affection for my new home.  I'm glad to be here and I love this country.  HOWEVER, the job search alone made me consider going back to the US.  I became completely frustrated by what seemed like a total disregard of my professional experience.  The worst thing is the way I'm received in social settings.  It's completely misleading.  Most Swedes are open and inviting to you when they find out you're American.  They are interested in you and your American story.  They want to know your journey and how you got here.  It's great.  My confidence was soaring as I filled out application after application. I must admit that there is a cultural difference here when it comes to one's relationship to their occupation.  I like to say that in Sweden you work to live, in America you live to work.  We wear our occupations on our sleeve.  One of the first questions we ask someone i...

With one Thanksgiving celebration under my belt now I had confidence.  I knew I could make the food (besides the cornbread) and the friends would be awesome as always.  The (affordable) turkey had been thawing all day Saturday.  It was ready.  I didn't know if I'd be ready though.  My visiting friend would be leaving on Sunday morning.  This meant he wouldn't be at the dinner.  It also meant that I'd have to show him a good time on Saturday night.  I mean, who wants to take a flight NOT tired and hungover? We went out Saturday and met some friends of mine.  Half the night was spent deciding if we'd go to this other party that was kind of far from city.  With my friends, leaving the comforts of "the city" had better be worth it.  Plus that other party had port-a-potties!  How dare they?!  I wanted to go check out the party (that I had RSVP'd to), but as the night crept on, the comforts of the city felt like the place to b...

Each year we plan a trip to the US for Thanksgiving.  I hadn't given thought to the importance of the holiday for me.  I guess I took it for granted.  Thanksgiving was always there for me.  I still consider New Year's my favorite holiday, but Thanksgiving is a very close second.  The warmth and love and food and football is always amazing. I had hosted Thanksgiving dinner in Sweden back when we lived here in 2006.  I wanted to spread the spirit of the holiday to my new family.  That dinner went well.  I had my mother on speed dial to make sure I got the recipes right (I did).  Everyone loved it.  I still remember the satisfied faces of my in-laws as they sprawled out on the couch with a case of "the itis".  Ah, memories. This year we wouldn't be able to go home for Thanksgiving.  Apparently Uncle Sam and his cohorts did a little research and Expat Jon had crunched his numbers wrong at tax season in 2012.  Vacation mone...