Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

I've always envied the characters on TV shows that get to come home to the house they grew up in.  I will never have that luxury.  We moved around too much.  At a very young age, my father was still in the Army.  Then we moved to Chicago.  Then my father enlisted again.  Then he got out again.  Then my parents split up.  Then money issues and different circumstances had us on the move for years.  Then my mom began traveling with work. Miami is definitely home, but I've lived all over the city.  And it's a pretty big city.  We lived in Miami Gardens, North Miami Beach, Liberty City, Carol City, Pompano, Fort Lauderdale, Oakland Park and probably some more areas, but you get my point.  We moved around a lot.  Now my mother lives in Maryland, so when I go "home" it's not like on TV when the kids go to that room they grew up in and it's just like they left it.  I can't rummage through a garage and find old pictures th...

This weekend I drove my body to the limits.  I don’t know why, but I can’t stop thinking that I’m still a young buck.  This may have been the last straw.  Maybe this break up was just what I needed. It started on Friday.  I got off of work at about 7pm and went home to get ready for my boy’s party.  I missed the last party that they threw, so it was a must that I check this one out.  What kind of friend misses two parties?  So – arm twisted and everything – I had to go.  Plus, our podcast endorsed the party, so basically this was a business trip.  Swedie understood.  I had a good time that Friday night.  I knew I had to work on Saturday at 9am, so I didn’t go too crazy.  I had a few drinks and grooved to the great mix of Hip-Hop/Reggae/Dancehall that always accompanies these parties .  I even left before the end of the party like a responsible adult.  I got home at about 2:30am.  My friend William r...

I don't talk enough about my dog Jasper.  I joke about wishing he would just run away or something, but I really love him.  Jasper is amazing.  He's smart, he doesn't shed and he's great with kids.  Yes, even bad ass kids whose mother acts like she doesn't see said bad ass kid pulling at his ears and tail.  I swear I almost did a secret pinch on that kid if he would have kept accosting Jasper.  I digress... Jasper is a little too smart.  Sometimes it gets to a level of manipulation.  That's not good.  But I guess you take the good with the bad.  He doesn't scratch or chew and he's good about holding his bowels.  As a matter of fact, it only took us a week or so to get him fully housebroken.  It was amazing.  I just had to spend a few weeks coming home for lunch so that he could empty his little bladder.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  His little furry body.  Him whimpering because he had...

I was born a little thick baby.  Not too big, not too small.  I guess at six pounds, I was a little bit bigger than most twins, but nothing special.  Being a twin, I always had that reference point.  I was the thicker twin.  The "big one".  My brother was always the "skinny one".  In all actuality I was kind of chunky.  Like five ham sandwiches away from being a fat kid.  Luckily I loved to play sports and stay active.  If the internet would have been around I would have been a fat ass for sure!  But it wasn't and I wasn't. My family called the weight "baby fat".  My chubby cheeks and big legs were filled with baby fat.  Doesn't that just sound cute?  The problem comes when I become an adult and my body is surrounded by "grown up fat".  Then "Tiffany From Across the Street" came into my life.  That was the summer that I turned 13.  I will never forget that summer.  It was in Chicago.  I had ...

I can't believe it.  Today marks nine years since that fateful night that Swedie and I met.  It wasn't supposed to happen.  It never is.  That was especially true in our case.  There is this thing called the Atlantic Ocean that sits between our countries.  How could it work?  How could we even meet? I was stationed in Turkey in 2005.  With my job at the control tower, I was unable to take the normal holiday trips that everyone went on when long weekends came up (Memorial Day, Independence Day, etc.).  We would end up taking trips together whenever the runway got it's annual work done on it.  Not as fun as going three buses deep to a party city in Turkey.  I would hear the crazy stories of the parties and European girls.  That's right.  EUROPEAN girls!  I got deployed to Iraq at the beginning of 2005.  I came back just before Memorial Day weekend.  When you come back you get two weeks of R&R.  This...

In some aspects of our upbringing, Swedie and I couldn't be more different.  We have spoken about this a lot during the years.  We find some things out about how we were raised and are completely surprised.  My mom didn't let us eat candy until well after we had our permanent teeth (WHAT?!).  Swedie's dad stuck a piece of candy in her mouth when she was around six months old (WHAT?!)  Upon discovering some of these revelations, one of us may say:      - That's not happening with our kids. That was all okay when we were talking about a hypothetical child.  But now we have an actual breathing human being that we have to raise and it's time to make those compromises.  We're at the stage now where we're just feeling each other out.  It's round one and both fighters are just throwing jabs.  He's still too young for any disciplinary actions to take place, but we are already trying to get on the same page - rather write a page tog...

So all the meetings and visits were done.  The next step was to have this boy.  We tried everything to get him out faster.  Eating spicy food, going for long walks, cleaning the windows and even dancing (Doing "The Wobble" to be exact)… But nothing.  Nothing would get this stubborn baby down. February 21st (false alarm): Swedie wakes up to a bunch of fluid in the bed.  We think maybe her water broke or maybe she has some bladder problems that she hasn't disclosed up until now.  The due date isn't until the 28th though, so this can't be it.  Could it?  We decide to wait and see.  I have to go to work and I think nothing of it.  Then at work I get a call from Swedie.  She said the midwife said it was probably the water and made an appointment for her.  What?!  I squared some things away at work and headed home.  It was time!  I took pictures of the falling snow just in case we make a scrapbook.  I e...