Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

I got this email from one of the contractor companies we work with.  It said keep a certain Saturday clear so that we can do something as a group.  This excited me.  I love doing things as a group!  It doesn't happen often here, so this was a welcome event for me.  I responded immediately that I would clear that Saturday.  Even more exciting was the fact that the event that evening would be disclosed at a later date.  What?  This was getting better and better. A week or so later we got word that the event would be bowling.  Even better!  I'm not "great" at bowling, but I can hang with other novice bowlers.  Not to brag, but when I was 12, my brother and I got bowling balls for Christmas.  They came in their own bags, too!  Like professionals.  For context, we never so much as got holes drilled into the balls.  I don't know what ever happened to those bowling balls.  I hope someone found them and used them ...

Hey! Yes I still blog.  I just took a month off because I didn't have anything nice to say after what was for me a very disappointing US presidential election.  I won't delve into that subject now.  I'll write a bit about something that makes me feel better about everything.  BASH! Handshakes are one of those things a parent teaches their child about.  It's a part of the first impression.  Make it firm.  Establish respect right away.  Look the person in the eye and smile.  I'm not quite there with Bash just yet, but I'm already prepared for that conversation.  He'll never have a "dead fish" handshake.  Nor will he be that guy that squeezes the fuck out of your hand while staring intently into your soul.  That person is actually worse because they make YOU childish and you start trying to squeeze back while trying not to show the pain.  But you're already at a disadvantage because that asshole started squeezing first! ...

People ask me if I speak English or Swedish at home with Bash.  Obviously I speak English to him.  I do so in part because I want to be able to fully express myself to him.  Me searching trying to translate my thoughts into my second language for him would be frustrating for the both of us.  I also want him to learn English like I speak it.  Here they learn the queen's English in school.  That's not exactly Miami talk.  He would benefit from learning Daddy's language from Daddy.  Another major factor is my confidence in my Swedish.  I understand just about everything and can make myself understood, but my Swedish grammar is far from perfect.  Bash would certainly pick up bad habits from me if I spoke Swedish to him.  Furthermore, he would realize at a way earlier age that Daddy is an idiot.  I'd rather he figure that out as a teenager or so.  Like we all do. Recently Bash and I went to the park.  I like spending tim...

It's summertime in Sweden.  That means EVERYBODY leaves.  At work it's basically a skeleton crew.  Mainly me (the sucker that took vacation early in the summer) and another guy who is waiting until the fall.  Mother nature hooked us up this year with a beautiful summer so far, so that makes it a little less fun to be cooped up at the job.  The good thing for me is learning so much on the fly.  Sometimes I HAVE to find answers on my own because I'm the only one there.  Learning by doing is the best, right? Friday was a super crazy day.  There was a buzz about the office.  The mood was pretty much brink of insanity.  My counterpart forewarned me that at 2:45pm at the latest he was going to be getting out of there.  He had some summer stuff to do.  My brain immediately did a poop/lunch schedule check.  I could poop at 5, but I'd need to grab lunch at around 2ish.  Thankfully (and unfortunately) there is a Burger King ...

I don't know what it is about me.  Maybe it's the well-trimmed beard or something, but these drunks keep bothering me.  Just yesterday I was minding my own business.  I had my headphones on so that the dude at the phone store wouldn't bother me.  I was also listening to a podcast, but the main reason for the headphones was the phone store guy.  Doesn't he get it? I live in this neighborhood.  I pass you every day - listening to media on MY FUNCTIONING PHONE - and you still ask me if I want to come in and talk to you about a phone plan.  I don't know anyone who bought a phone plan from one of these guys here or in the States.  It's weird that the strategy is still used.  It's just harassment. So I avoided the phone guys with my newly adopted Swedish-blinders-while-walking technique.  It's effective when used moderately.  It was raining because it's the summer in 2015 in Stockholm and that must be in the damn contract.  So I wa...

I do a lot of reflecting throughout each day.  A lot of it happens in the shower and ends with me shaking my head in disbelief.        -How could I have done something so stupid? Most of these shower moments are related to social situations.  I think back on them and wonder how someone with my social skills could embarrass myself like that.  I'm surprised that I don't reflect on situations that could have been really life altering.  Mistaking someone for pregnant isn't nearly as big of a deal as accompanying a home invasion/assault with a pistol, but somehow I get more chills thinking about the former. There are things I've done in the past that could have gotten me in huge trouble.  Each time it's something easily avoidable.  But like most young men, I thought I was invincible.  I'm lucky that premise wasn't tested.  Now I'm older and wiser and less inclined to go on an adventure.  There's one instance in the past t...

It was almost bedtime.  Bash was asleep and we were enjoying each other's company like parents of crazy 11-month olds do.  Relaxing!  These days relaxing includes cuddling up on the sofa and watching television.  We're almost done with "The Wire" now.  If it was just me I'd be done already, but Swedie wants to get through this one together.  I'm fine with that.  Sometimes you've got to sacrifice. As with every night, Swedie stopped after a gripping episode and said we can't watch anymore.  She has class in the morning and she needs to be focused.  Way to prioritize!  I was sleepy anyway and I had work in the morning myself.  Bash is a full-time job.  I decided I would take a shower and go to bed.  Sensible decision for a sensible man. Swedie and I have been together so long that we've gotten over the whole showering together thing.  It was cute and romantic at first, but now it's a hassle.  She likes the wate...

I have always prided myself on not getting sick and having few medical issues.  I used to brag about having better than 20/20 vision.  Unfortunately I can't anymore since my left eye seems to be worse than my right eye.  In the past if I had any issues with this remarkable structure that is my body I've just let it pass or ask around for advice.  I definitely wouldn't go to the doctor.  That's a sign of weakness! Now I'm older and wiser.  You hear too many tragic stories that maybe could have turned out differently if someone would have just gone and gotten checked out when they first noticed something was wrong.  My great-grandmother was unknowingly rubbing BenGay (pain medicine) on a lump in her breast that turned out to be caused by the cancer that eventually killed her.  I have a kid now, so I can't be as reckless as I used to.  If I have an issue now, I won't just keep it to myself. So Monday I noticed some blood when I wiped after u...