Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

Bash's energy level is INSANE.  It got so crazy that Swedie and I had a meeting about it.  We decided to get him into something to expend that energy.  Swedie found a children's gymnastics course that Bash would surely like. Of course the price of the course made me think maybe this was an overreaction.  Then Bash sprinted by on all four faster than any human should and I relented. Now gymnastics is incorporated in Bash's routine.  It's officially added to his list of possible destinations.  He asks if we're going to:        Day Care        Mormor (grandma)        Morfar (granddad)        Gymnastics And he doesn't like to go home either.  He's like Daddy.  He knows there's a party going on somewhere.  The first day of gymnastics was a new thing for all of the kids.  It seemed challenging for most of the parents to keep the kids somewhat foc...

Oh yeah, it's that time again!  The Rollins family is growing.  Bash doesn't get the concept yet, but I'm already certain that he's going to be good at big brothering.  I'm more excited than I expected to be about this new addition.  There was a time when I went around saying I'd be cool not having any kids at all.  I'm sure I would have been okay with it, but life with Bash has been such a blast that I can't wait to see this next little star. We decided not to find out the gender this time.  That adds a layer of excitement.  Not to be all hipster condescending, but it will be awesome to quench that curiosity after a labor battle.  It's funny that after almost three years of parenting I feel like I'm some sort of parenting pro.  I've only accompanied Swedie through labor once.  That means I pretty much don't know shit.  I walk around with an unwarranted confidence and I'm sure a rude awakening is coming. Bash was a pretty reason...

Hey! Yes I still blog.  I just took a month off because I didn't have anything nice to say after what was for me a very disappointing US presidential election.  I won't delve into that subject now.  I'll write a bit about something that makes me feel better about everything.  BASH! Handshakes are one of those things a parent teaches their child about.  It's a part of the first impression.  Make it firm.  Establish respect right away.  Look the person in the eye and smile.  I'm not quite there with Bash just yet, but I'm already prepared for that conversation.  He'll never have a "dead fish" handshake.  Nor will he be that guy that squeezes the fuck out of your hand while staring intently into your soul.  That person is actually worse because they make YOU childish and you start trying to squeeze back while trying not to show the pain.  But you're already at a disadvantage because that asshole started squeezing first! ...

If you would have asked me six months ago how I would react to Bash wanting a pink toy or wearing nail polish I would have proudly said it is no problem for me.  I'm a progressive and enlightened man, right?  I know that the color pink has nothing to do with femininity.  I don't buy into that tired old way of thinking.  My child will grow up knowing that whatever he likes, he likes.  It won't affect the way his father loves him.  In the end he will be secure in himself and he'll truly have the trust a child should have in their father.  That all sounds good until that time comes. Well that time came for me.  My progressiveness was recently tested.  Swedie and I have discussed this topic at length.  We agreed that if we're out toy shopping and Bash likes a "girl toy", Bash gets that toy.  So I was surprised when Swedie called me one day asking if it's okay to buy this chair Bash wants.  I rolled my eyes.  Here we go again...

The last blog entry I wrote was a very serious one.  It was important to me, very personal and now it's out there.  The thing is, how do I follow that up?  I didn't know what to say after that.  Could the blog entry after one about rape culture be one about shower farts?  I guess it could, but it didn't feel right.  So I decided to let that one sink in for a couple of weeks and then get back to shower farts.  Just kidding.  This won't be about shower farts.  However, the thing about shower farts is... I noticed recently that Bash has been more active and in tune with his needs.  That's parent speak for this little maniac is entering the "Terrible Twos".  I have heard the horror stories, so I'm prepared for the worst.  The thing is, I think it's going to be fun.  I'm interested in how he's going to test the limits. I'm interested in how I'm going to respond when he has me on the brink of sanity and my patience has run ...

Playing outside with Bash is fun.  It's even more fun with Jasper.  I get the best of both worlds.  Bash is thoroughly entertained by our crazy dog, and Jasper gets good exercise from running around like a maniac and mellows out for the rest of the day.  How could I not take advantage of this? Last week I had an opportunity to go outside with the boys.  Swedie was at work (will she ever learn?) and I was home with all of these responsibilities.  Bash was non-stop that day.  Climbing and running and singing and being a toddler.  He recently found out that he can get to higher things by pushing around a chair.  Now I have to actually be awake!  Jasper was being his usual annoying self, so outside was the way to go. I took them out and let Jasper do his thing.  Bash loves it when Jasper runs in huge circles barking hysterically.  I teased Jasper and made him run more and more.  Bash laughed more and more.  He even...

Our goal was to start early with the potty training.  Diaper prices aren't exactly going down, so we want this boy to be out of them as soon as possible. I noticed early on that Bash is very independent.  He likes to try to be a big boy.  Maybe if he SEES Daddy using the toilet he'll want to use his own.  Daddy and Mamma don't wear diapers.  Be like Daddy and Mamma, Bash.  Help us help you... Please! At first we thought we had a child prodigy on our hands.  Bash used the potty the first few days we ever put him on it.  He tinkled.  Yay Bash!  Good job Bash!  We clapped and celebrated the pot full of urine.  He clapped too.  This was going to be a breeze.  The grocery bill would be dramatically decreasing in no time.  This was when he was just over one year old.  I was full of pride as I told the teacher at preschool that Bash is "using the pot now".  I asked that they continue trying with him. ...

I was going to write about this crazy dream I had the other night, but then I was told that people hate hearing about other people's dreams. You can thank Swedie for that. People also hate hearing about other people's kids, but that's never stopped me before! Here's a little bit about the crazy little guy I call Bash. I'm starting to think our kid is going to be the cool kid.  I must have been scarred or something in my youth (who hasn't?) because I often wonder what circle Bash is going to be in.  I recently spoke on the podcast  about my biggest fear being that Bash is that kid that does magic.  I always found that kid in the classroom/lunchroom with the cape and gloves on doing tricks to be the ultimate cornball.  If that was you or (worse) your kid, I apologize.  It's just my silly opinion. I don't want Bash to be the cornball.  My friends know this now and vow to get Bash hooked on magic.  I'm confident it won't stick.  Not becaus...

Paternity leave is almost over.  This is my last week!  My how time flies.  It's bittersweet for me.  I love spending time with Bash.  I can't describe how important these three months have been.  I am ready to get back to work.  But it's also good for Bash to start his social life.  It's a new adventure for him.  A new era! Of course the day care system here is different.  In the US you have labor pains, push the baby out, wipe it off, smile at it, then drop it off at day care.  In Sweden it's a process.  They know you have parental leave, so you have to integrate the child into day care.  Of course you have to get into a line. It wouldn't be Sweden without a line.  Swedie was actually concerned that Bash wouldn't be accepted into day care on time.  We put him in the line when he was one week old.  How is that not enough time?  I actually ended up taking an extra two weeks of paternity leave once we...

Well well well.  I made it through Year One!  I know there's a long way to go before I fire up the victory band, but still I'm glad to get that first year under my belt.  Just think, a year ago today I was freaking out about this little being that was stubbornly delaying his entrance into the world.  A year ago I didn't have the slightest idea what Sebastian or Evan or Dylan would look like!  I must say I got lucky.  We got lucky.  We got "Bash" and boy has he been a joy. There have only been a handful of nights that Bash has been cranky and screaming.  His demeanor thus far has been perfect for beginner parents.  It's like he knew what it would take to make life easier and he did just that.  We've been told that he has a "quiet cry".  To us it's a scream, but to other people it's like "That's it?"  Man, we hit the jackpot. Fatherhood has taught me a lot about myself.  I remember when we bought Jasper and I caught ...

I did it!  I made it to the fourth week of paternity leave!  More importantly, Bash made it as well.  I would say I'm proud of myself, but I still have more than two months to go.  Right about now I feel more confident than ever that we'll make it. Week 2 wasn't so bad.  Swedie's school schedule was kind to me that week.  That may have been for the best since I almost lost him three days in.  It was nice to spend time together when she had a day off or when she only went in for a few hours.  It reminded me of when he was first born and we had those two weeks with him.  Except now he has a personality.  It's a different kind of magic.  When he was first born it was wonderment that had us stare like crazy people at him.  But he was BORING.  Just lying there all helpless and poopy.  Still somehow entertaining.  Now Bash has so much personality!  He likes to laugh and play.  We had a lot of quality...

Okay, so I'm a bit late.  Forgive me.  I basically lost a day traveling and it's still Thursday evening where I'm at, so I don't feel so bad. We touched down a little less than 24 hours ago.  I'm so proud of Bash.  He was such a champion.  We had two flights to get here and the first one was only an hour long.  I considered that one the tester flight.  Bash sure aced that test.  Swedie gave him a bottle as we were taking off to combat ear popping.  It must have worked.  He drank in peace and went to sleep for most of the flight.  It was awesome. The second flight started off a little scary.  First off, in typical Expat Jon fashion, I strategically walked away and abandoned Swedie in an awkward conversation with a fellow traveler.  Glad it wasn't me.  I came back and Swedie tried to return the favor, but I was too slick for that.  Won't get me!  We got on the flight at Bash's lunch time.  We tried to...

Time flies, doesn't it?  Bash has been out of Swedie's belly already for six months.  SIX MONTHS! I've been trying not to be the insane social media parent.  So far we have zero albums on Facebook dedicated to him.  That's an accomplishment.  Then again I haven't made a Facebook album in forever.  But still.  I think I've done alright.  I doubt anyone sees Bash and goes:        - Here we go again with this kid! Like admittedly, I do sometimes.  If you feel guilty, then you probably are.  But I'm not judging those parents that think we care about the 18 pictures you took of your child finding her belly button.  I actually understand now.  Before being a parent, I thought it was insane.  Now I know... it IS  insane.  We all are insane for our kids.  I just happen to be more willing to hide my insanity.  I think my kid is cuter than any other kid (Except for that one stupid...