Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

I've stood by my word to smile and nod at, hold doors for, say hello to, laugh and overall connect with strangers here.  But sometimes my happy, approachable Americanness backfires on me.  It's the drunks.  The drunks here make me wish I was a stone cold Swede.  For some reason if there is a loud, obnoxious drunk, he/she will engage with me.  It's gotten to the point where I just expect it now. A few weeks ago I was heading out to meet my friend in the city.  It was about the normal time when people are going to begin their evening of partying.  No one should be plastered at this time of night.  The ride back home, maybe.  That's when people could have had too much to drink.  But now?  No.  So naturally, this drunk is completely passed out on the train in the group of seats next to me.  And naturally, my first instinct is to take a picture of him.  Don't judge me.  I have an Instagram account to keep interestin...

I think I've mentioned briefly on this blog that I have a habit of regularly reviewing embarrassing and awkward moments of my life.  Whenever I go through one of these flashbacks, I get that same embarrassed and awkward feeling again.  Sometimes I laugh and shake my head.  If there is embarrassing dialogue involved, I may repeat the dialogue in a silly, sarcastic voice.       - "I've driven with too much alcohol in the system..." I said this gem a few weeks ago when I was taking a driver safety course for my Swedish license when the instructor asked if anyone had experienced double-vision.  See what I mean!  It's like my brain finds the least acceptable thing to do/say in a social setting and then I DO IT.  I get awkward now just thinking about it.  What was I thinking? The place where I do most of my embarrassing life reflections happens to be in the shower.  Maybe it's a symbolic thing.  Part of the cleansing process. ...

They say first impressions are lasting.  I for one do not agree with this.  Sometimes you can think one thing about someone or something and then later realize you are completely wrong.  I found this out about Swedes.  At first glance, one could be led to believe that Swedes are a cold and unfriendly people.  They do walk around looking straight ahead and avoiding eye contact, after all.  I've gotten to the point now where I have to force out a "God Morgon" or "Hej Hej" because of the inevitable rejection when the person walks past a bit faster like they spotted a pistol on my waistband.  But I still do my greetings.  Why?  Well first of all, because I vowed to not lose my American happy-go-luckiness.  Secondly, I have yet to encounter an unreasonably rude or cold or unfriendly Swedish person. Of course you have your douchebags.  But that's a given.  I'm not counting those people.  If you do get past the unreasonably unc...

It was kinda sad bidding farewell to my family in Maryland.  It was good seeing family and some friends.  We'd have to catch the rest next time around.  We got the rental car and prepared to make that drive up.  Actually, Swedie was going to do the driving on this trip.  We had an agreement that since I drove up from GA, she would do the 3 hour drive to Jersey.  I set the satellite radio (Sweden needs this) to some stand-up comedy stations and we cranked the trip out.  Swedie is a good driver, so I was even able to sleep on the way up. We were going to be staying with our good friends while we were in New Jersey.  They always look out for us and this was no different.  We had stayed with them before moving to Sweden, so in a sense this was kind of a homecoming.  It's good to go to a place where you are familiar with the shower.  That first shower somewhere can be a a nightmare.  Standing there naked and flinching with one eye...

One of the things that's considered pretty popular amongst men in America is strip clubs.  Going to a strip club is a pretty prominent thing in movies and TV when depicting the "average Joe" going out with his friends.  If someone tells you that they're going to a bachelor party, you assume there will either be a strip club or strippers involved.  That's not so much the case here in Sweden.  From what I hear, strip clubs do exist here.  But I have yet to see a strip club marquee or billboard or any other type of advertisement for one.  Sweden is known for having beautiful women, so one would assume that there would be an easily-located place where one could see said beautiful women either drop it like it is indeed hot or shake what her momma had given her. I have heard about the strip clubs here.  Legend has it that they are unreasonably expensive ($50+ cover charge, $100+ dances) and don't sell alcohol.  Those facts alone would keep me from patr...

It always feels good to know that someone is interested in you.  That's why we all take time to look good before we go out.  I've been married for years now, and plan to stay that way, but it's still nice to know that I "still got it".  As I mentioned before, people don't even look at each other here, so I figured the club scene must be weird.  How could you interact with each other if everyone is looking straight ahead and avoiding eye contact like the plague?  My first weekend out, I quickly learned that alcohol is liquid courage x10 here!  People partying are having a good time.  The DJs have an engaged crowd here.  Most people are dancing.  That impenetrable circle of girls "just hanging with my friends and dancing" that is so prevalent in the US is virtually nonexistent here.  I mean, sure you'll have that poor guy walk up to dance with a chick that isn't feeling it and he gets shot down.  But it's not with the maliciousness of...