Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

I've always envied the characters on TV shows that get to come home to the house they grew up in.  I will never have that luxury.  We moved around too much.  At a very young age, my father was still in the Army.  Then we moved to Chicago.  Then my father enlisted again.  Then he got out again.  Then my parents split up.  Then money issues and different circumstances had us on the move for years.  Then my mom began traveling with work. Miami is definitely home, but I've lived all over the city.  And it's a pretty big city.  We lived in Miami Gardens, North Miami Beach, Liberty City, Carol City, Pompano, Fort Lauderdale, Oakland Park and probably some more areas, but you get my point.  We moved around a lot.  Now my mother lives in Maryland, so when I go "home" it's not like on TV when the kids go to that room they grew up in and it's just like they left it.  I can't rummage through a garage and find old pictures th...

Okay, so I'm a bit late.  Forgive me.  I basically lost a day traveling and it's still Thursday evening where I'm at, so I don't feel so bad. We touched down a little less than 24 hours ago.  I'm so proud of Bash.  He was such a champion.  We had two flights to get here and the first one was only an hour long.  I considered that one the tester flight.  Bash sure aced that test.  Swedie gave him a bottle as we were taking off to combat ear popping.  It must have worked.  He drank in peace and went to sleep for most of the flight.  It was awesome. The second flight started off a little scary.  First off, in typical Expat Jon fashion, I strategically walked away and abandoned Swedie in an awkward conversation with a fellow traveler.  Glad it wasn't me.  I came back and Swedie tried to return the favor, but I was too slick for that.  Won't get me!  We got on the flight at Bash's lunch time.  We tried to...

Yesterday at work I saw a guy with an old rickety van broken down on the street.  I'm a nice guy and all, so I was ready to go out and give this guy a hand.  He looked to be a bit older and people were walking by while he was apparently trying to parallel park his big rickety van while it was in neutral. It looked to be a painstaking process.  He was going so slow.  I wanted to be the hero.  The American that swoops in and saves the day.  I'm the guy that sees the world and wants to help it.  Go on out there, Jon.  Save him! But did I save him?  Of course not.  And not because I've become a Swede.  No, that's not it at all.  I still have a grasp on my friendly, southern, American side.  The thing is, I've sworn off all vehicular assistance after this one incident: A few years back, I was working as a manager for FedEx in New Jersey.  Part of my responsibilities was to make sure the drivers weren't leaving customers'...

Sometimes things from the past belong just there.  In the past.  I was recently smacked in the face with this fact.  My friends and I regularly reference memories of our childhood.  We talk about things that were awesome and shaped our lives.  On most occasions those references include clothes, games or movies.  When it comes to movies, I'm obsessive.  I want everyone to see the movie.  I love dialog, so I memorize the cool quotes and then use those quotes in real life situations.  Normally I do this with popular movies so I don't look like Rainman.  But here, I look like Rainman anyway because movies that were popular back home might not have been popular here. My movie-watching prime was from the late-80's to early 00's.  I still watch movies regularly, but I must say I'm not quite the repeat watcher that I used to be.  The last movie I obsessed over was "There Will Be Blood".  You can't really go around quoting that m...