Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

Time flies, doesn't it?  Bash has been out of Swedie's belly already for six months.  SIX MONTHS! I've been trying not to be the insane social media parent.  So far we have zero albums on Facebook dedicated to him.  That's an accomplishment.  Then again I haven't made a Facebook album in forever.  But still.  I think I've done alright.  I doubt anyone sees Bash and goes:        - Here we go again with this kid! Like admittedly, I do sometimes.  If you feel guilty, then you probably are.  But I'm not judging those parents that think we care about the 18 pictures you took of your child finding her belly button.  I actually understand now.  Before being a parent, I thought it was insane.  Now I know... it IS  insane.  We all are insane for our kids.  I just happen to be more willing to hide my insanity.  I think my kid is cuter than any other kid (Except for that one stupid...

I pride myself on my balance.  I regularly say that I've only fallen [enter low number here] times in my life.  If you don't count playing recreational sports, this is true.  I think it's because I find falling embarrassing.  It is!  All of your swagger and coolness deteriorates before you hit the ground.  They haven't yet created a smooth way to get up from a fall.  You can either lay there like you're hurt (if you're not), try to get up quickly (risking a second fall which drops your swag to nearly unrecoverable levels) or laugh at yourself.  I look at it as a loss.  Falling down is failure. Obviously it's not really failure.  It's a fact of life.  Gravity is fighting us for our entire existence on this planet.  And gravity is undefeated.  Nobody beats gravity.  Not even me!  Well, technically even when I'm standing upright, gravity is holding me down, but you get what I mean.  My cool needs to prevail. ...

My experience with soccer is very limited.  I vaguely remember playing in P.E. as an elementary school kid, but that had to be less than four total times.  I tried to watch on Univision a few times because I loved the way the guy yelled "Gooooooooooooooooaaaaaal!!!" whenever a goal was scored.   Crazy, right?!  He was so excited.  It would be so exciting to see the goal and then hear the call.  Unfortunately for me, I would never see a goal scored live. I would lose interest after a few minutes and change the channel.  Or, even worse, I would lose interest while the game was on and find out that a goal had been scored by hearing the announcer yelling "Goooooooooooooooaaaaaal!!!"  Then the replay but the magic is gone by then.  Just my luck.  The few times in my life that I did see a goal scored live, I would go crazy.  Even as an adult.  It is one of the better feelings in the sports-watching experience.  Right up...