Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

When I moved here, I vowed to myself that I would be more active.  I said I would work out more, eat healthy and all that good stuff.  The fact that running is straight up boring means that I have to find other ways to be more active.  My go-to activity to accomplish this is basketball.  There is a wonderful court downtown that I liked to play at when I could, but I needed more.  At the court I would have to depend on good weather and good competition.  Last year Swedie's uncle told me that I could come to his team practices every Wednesday to get in a good run.  They play in a gym and there would always be good competition because they are getting ready for their games. Practice was fun.  The guys are a bit older than me, but skilled.  The game is more physical in general here.  The first time someone sets a pick on you, you know it.  You might think that the guy doesn't like you.  But that's just how they play.  More e...

I don't talk enough about my dog Jasper.  I joke about wishing he would just run away or something, but I really love him.  Jasper is amazing.  He's smart, he doesn't shed and he's great with kids.  Yes, even bad ass kids whose mother acts like she doesn't see said bad ass kid pulling at his ears and tail.  I swear I almost did a secret pinch on that kid if he would have kept accosting Jasper.  I digress... Jasper is a little too smart.  Sometimes it gets to a level of manipulation.  That's not good.  But I guess you take the good with the bad.  He doesn't scratch or chew and he's good about holding his bowels.  As a matter of fact, it only took us a week or so to get him fully housebroken.  It was amazing.  I just had to spend a few weeks coming home for lunch so that he could empty his little bladder.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  His little furry body.  Him whimpering because he had...

Time flies, doesn't it?  Bash has been out of Swedie's belly already for six months.  SIX MONTHS! I've been trying not to be the insane social media parent.  So far we have zero albums on Facebook dedicated to him.  That's an accomplishment.  Then again I haven't made a Facebook album in forever.  But still.  I think I've done alright.  I doubt anyone sees Bash and goes:        - Here we go again with this kid! Like admittedly, I do sometimes.  If you feel guilty, then you probably are.  But I'm not judging those parents that think we care about the 18 pictures you took of your child finding her belly button.  I actually understand now.  Before being a parent, I thought it was insane.  Now I know... it IS  insane.  We all are insane for our kids.  I just happen to be more willing to hide my insanity.  I think my kid is cuter than any other kid (Except for that one stupid...

Weddings are awesome.  That's not just my opinion that I'm trying to impress upon you.  That there is a fact.  Weddings are awesome.  They're so awesome that whenever they make a movie about weddings, that movie is a success.  Think about it.  Wedding Crashers, Bridesmaids, The Hangover, The Best Man, Four Weddings and a Funeral, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Wedding Singer, The Wood, My Best Friend's Wedding and the list goes one.  They are all good movies because they are all related to weddings .  It's a huge day for the couple celebrating and everyone is generally in a great mood.  Generally people go to weddings with the intention of getting drunk and having fun.  One of my favorite things about weddings is everyone's inhibitions on the dance floor.  People don't care if they look like they're dodging bullets while being electrocuted, they just want to dance! We had a wedding ceremony here in 2008.  I consider it one ...

I pride myself on my balance.  I regularly say that I've only fallen [enter low number here] times in my life.  If you don't count playing recreational sports, this is true.  I think it's because I find falling embarrassing.  It is!  All of your swagger and coolness deteriorates before you hit the ground.  They haven't yet created a smooth way to get up from a fall.  You can either lay there like you're hurt (if you're not), try to get up quickly (risking a second fall which drops your swag to nearly unrecoverable levels) or laugh at yourself.  I look at it as a loss.  Falling down is failure. Obviously it's not really failure.  It's a fact of life.  Gravity is fighting us for our entire existence on this planet.  And gravity is undefeated.  Nobody beats gravity.  Not even me!  Well, technically even when I'm standing upright, gravity is holding me down, but you get what I mean.  My cool needs to prevail. ...

I think my Swedish friends think I'm a little bit crazy.  I even think I may be a little bit crazy.  But in a good way.  I'm that "good crazy".  You know how you have that one friend who always has some crazy new idea?  Then the next week, that friend has a new, crazy new idea?   I'm that friend.  The thing is, my ideas are good.  Really good!  With the proper resources, all of my ideas would be successful and heralded by all that know of them. But then another idea comes along.  And that earlier idea becomes... meh.  I mean, it's still a good idea -  a great idea even - but this one is better and it needs all of my focus.  Even though the plan is for me to fully execute the first brilliant idea and then follow up with the even better idea.  But that new idea is so tantalizing that I just have to go all in on it.  Then the other slightly less brilliant idea gets left in the shadows.  You know how this sto...

When I was a kid, I was quick to fight.  I didn't have issues at home or anything that led me to it, I just didn't see any problem with punching someone in the face to solve a dispute.  This led to me winning many fights.  I thought it was because I was so tough.  In hindsight I realize that human nature is to avoid physical confrontation, so the first person to throw the punch usually wins.  Neither of my parents gave the "If someone hits you, hit them back" speech.  It was more like, "Hit him before he hits you and hurts you" in our household.  We weren't allowed to fight each other, though; and I happen to have the most annoying brother ever,  so I guess I took my frustrations out on kids at the playground. I was also always a bit stronger than my peers.  My baby fat had some muscle under it too.  I had a reputation as the twin that wasn't afraid to fight.  And I wasn't.  I once punched a kid in the face on the basketball ...