The Potty Struggle

Our goal was to start early with the potty training.  Diaper prices aren't exactly going down, so we want this boy to be out of them as soon as possible. I noticed early on that Bash is very independent.  He likes to try to be a big boy.  Maybe if he SEES Daddy using the toilet he'll want to use his own.  Daddy and Mamma don't wear diapers.  Be like Daddy and Mamma, Bash.  Help us help you... Please!

At first we thought we had a child prodigy on our hands.  Bash used the potty the first few days we ever put him on it.  He tinkled.  Yay Bash!  Good job Bash!  We clapped and celebrated the pot full of urine.  He clapped too.  This was going to be a breeze.  The grocery bill would be dramatically decreasing in no time.  This was when he was just over one year old.  I was full of pride as I told the teacher at preschool that Bash is "using the pot now".  I asked that they continue trying with him.  Maybe after his nap.  You know, not like the other kids.  She smiled and told me that's nice.  She warned me that it ebbs and flows.  He'll be glad to use it now, but the war isn't over.  Whatever, lady.  Just put him on the pot.  What does she know anyway?  My child is a prodigy!

Bash is now 19 months old.  He pees very rarely anywhere besides his diaper.  I take that back.  Sometimes he pees on the floor when Swedie lets him go around without a diaper to "air out".  I don't know if this is Swedish tradition or something, but I think it's pretty dumb.  Even dumber is when Swedie acts surprised that he peed on the floor.

       - Oh no.  Bash peed all over the floor in the kitchen.
       - What?  Why didn't he have on a diaper?
       - I was letting him air out.

I'm confused even as I type that dumb conversation.  The point is, he hasn't been using the potty.  Bash is not a prodigy.  He's a regular kid that finds sitting on the potty boring.  We have an organizer next to the potty.  Bash grabs a hair brush out of it and brushes his hair.  Then he gets a hot curler and pretends to hot curl his hair.  The whole time I'm on the toilet, having already peed ten minutes ago, but I still wait for Bash.  He reaches for baby wipes and tissue and whatever else catches his eye.  The only thing he doesn't do is pee.

The other day Swedie was at work.  It was just Bash and me.  I could tell he was pooping.  He was doing that stare off into the distance and saying.

       - Bajsa... Bajsa

Which means "Poop... Poop".  Thanks Bash!  I grabbed him and ran him to the bathroom while taking off his diaper.  I was a little bit late, I admit.  He had passed a bit of poop, but there may be more on the way!  I put him on the potty and demonstrated what he should do.  He clapped for the sound of my urine hitting the water.  He even passed me some tissue.  Cute.  I sat him down a couple of times when he stood up looking for a new adventure.  I noticed some poop was on the potty.  Must have been from me sitting him down.  I'll have to clean that up.  I saw poop smeared on his butt too.  I'll have to clean that up.  Maybe my idea wasn't so bright after all.  He wasn't interested in the hair items or baby wipes.

Then it came time for Daddy to poop.  I'm sitting on the toilet, so why not.  As soon as I was mid-poop, Bash made a run for it.  NOOOO!  I reached for him and missed.  I grabbed a baby wipe and wiped myself quickly.  My own deuce would have to wait.  I've got a poopy-booty son to grab.  I envisioned Bash sliding his poop-covered bottom along the living room walls.  I jumped up and followed him.  Now it was a game to him.  He took off running.  He's fast!  I gave chase.  Never mind that my pants and underwear were on the bathroom floor. I ran after my giggling son wearing nothing but a t-shirt and hoodie.  I hope no one can see this in our window.  I finally catch my little poop demon.  He laughed hysterically.  I cleaned him up and put a diaper on him.  It was my first time ever changing him without any underwear on myself.  This was the worst possible way to "air out".  Until next time...