Expat Jon takes on the world (well... Sweden)

One of the things that's considered pretty popular amongst men in America is strip clubs.  Going to a strip club is a pretty prominent thing in movies and TV when depicting the "average Joe" going out with his friends.  If someone tells you that they're going to a bachelor party, you assume there will either be a strip club or strippers involved.  That's not so much the case here in Sweden.  From what I hear, strip clubs do exist here.  But I have yet to see a strip club marquee or billboard or any other type of advertisement for one.  Sweden is known for having beautiful women, so one would assume that there would be an easily-located place where one could see said beautiful women either drop it like it is indeed hot or shake what her momma had given her. I have heard about the strip clubs here.  Legend has it that they are unreasonably expensive ($50+ cover charge, $100+ dances) and don't sell alcohol.  Those facts alone would keep me from patr...

I was recently at a barbecue at my mother-in-law's place and we were enjoying some nice grilled steak strips.  I looked around and noticed that everyone was cutting their meat up into nice big chunks before taking bites of the juicy beef.  One "American thing" I've been focused on dropping is not using my knife when I eat.  That's why we have thumbs and bread.  Here, everyone uses their knife to push the food onto their fork (which they hold upside down).  I noticed that the last time I was here and I thought it was a neat way to eat.  It also looks less barbaric than meeting your fork with your thumb on the edge of the plate to push that last bit of gravy-soaked mashed potatoes on.  Then you have gravy on your thumb and you know that's not meant for your napkin.  You've gotta suck that gravy off that thumb!  When you're the only person at the table looking barbaric, you kind of learn to (read this part in a posh British accent) flip your fo...

Definition of   POLITICALLY CORRECT :  conforming to a belief that language and practices which could offend political sensibilities (as in matters of sex or race) should be eliminated (also referred to as "PC") One thing that I've noticed since becoming familiar with Swedish culture is they don't want any problems.  People are generally kind and go to great lengths to not offend.  You won't find many people saying offensive things in public.  If someone falls, no one laughs!  Except me, and then I'M the asshole.  Political Correctness is in full effect over here. Once I was at a grill spot after a night out trying to get some fried food in me while I wait for the bus.  There was a drunk, English speaking guy trying to be loud and funny.  People were doing their Swedish thing (looking straight ahead and ignoring the world) until the guy started mocking the grill worker.  He was speaking with an exaggerated Indian accent and ba...

It always feels good to know that someone is interested in you.  That's why we all take time to look good before we go out.  I've been married for years now, and plan to stay that way, but it's still nice to know that I "still got it".  As I mentioned before, people don't even look at each other here, so I figured the club scene must be weird.  How could you interact with each other if everyone is looking straight ahead and avoiding eye contact like the plague?  My first weekend out, I quickly learned that alcohol is liquid courage x10 here!  People partying are having a good time.  The DJs have an engaged crowd here.  Most people are dancing.  That impenetrable circle of girls "just hanging with my friends and dancing" that is so prevalent in the US is virtually nonexistent here.  I mean, sure you'll have that poor guy walk up to dance with a chick that isn't feeling it and he gets shot down.  But it's not with the maliciousness of...

    One of the things that's made the transition here easier is the fact that I have been plugged in to my own circle of friends.  I think that's important for my sanity.  I mean, Sandra's cool and all; but I think it's healthier for our relationship if I can hang out with my own friends.  I was very honored when I was invited to one of my new friends' wedding recently.  And if that wasn't enough, I was even invited to the bachelorette party.  I had never been to a bachelorette party before, so I didn't know what to expect.  The invite and follow-up information was all in Swedish.  I was able to follow along.  There was something about a boat and a sauna and everybody was to bring snacks.  Simple enough.     So the day came around and I was ready to party.  It just so happened to be the most beautiful day of the year so far.  It was hot out with a gentle breeze.  Not a cloud in the sky.  I would gue...

I recently had my 31st birthday.  I'm officially into my 30s.  I'm not one of those people scared that I'm getting too old or anything like that.  I've embraced my age.  I'm proud of the years I've lived and the things I've learned.  However, I am attentive;  and one thing about me that has been a nagging reminder that I'm getting older each day is my body hair situation.  It's not just on the top of my head, either.  No.  That would be too simple for this body.  It's different areas that throw little hints at me that things are changing and I have to deal with it. When I was in high school I had a huge afro.  It was my thing.  My mom used to braid my hair at night and I would undo it in the morning to give it that blowout effect.  I always got compliments on my big ass afro.  My hair used to grow straight out, too.  I got that from my momma.  What came later (pattern baldness), I presume I got from my dad...

I had heard so many things about Midsommar.  It has to be the most popular holiday here outside of Christmas.  So when it rolled around I was ready to have a good time!  We were going to the summer house and we were going to have a blast.  We headed up to Norrtälje on Thursday.  My wife Swedie  was to be my tour guide of sorts to help me through my first midsommar. Day 1 The drive was shorter than I expected.  It only took us about an hour fifteen.  As soon as we arrived, I was greeted by the heaviest, most aggressive mosquitos you could imagine.  I figured we were just in some mosquito patch or something, but I was assured by my bro-in-law that this would happen all weekend.  Great.  Now, I'm familiar with mosquitos thanks to South Florida living.  And for some reason I never get bitten up too bad (that plus my inability to get hangovers are my super powers).  So I was ready for this little rendezvous with some pesk...